


Lipstick and Lead

by charleybradburies



Series: PeggySous Week 2015 [2]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Era, Canon Related, Co-workers, Coffee, Community: 1_million_words, Could Be Canon, Cultural References, Death Threats, F/M, Historical, Historical Accuracy, Historical References, Immaturity, Minor Violence, Music, One Shot, POV Female Character, POV Peggy Carter, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Period-Typical Sexism, Poison, Pop Culture, Sassy, Secret Relationship, Sexism, Sexist Language, Song Lyrics, Spies & Secret Agents, Team, Team Dynamics, Teasing, Threats, Threats of Violence, Workplace, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4011976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleybradburies/pseuds/charleybradburies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>I'll see you every night, babe, I'll woo you every day, I'll be your regular Daddy,<br/>if you'll put that gun away!</p>
  <p>PeggySous Week Day Two: Song<br/>(Al Dexter's 'Pistol Packin' Mama')</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	Lipstick and Lead

**Author's Note:**

> I do actually think this song fits Peggy, and I do like it, but I can easily imagine a scenario like this happening, where one of the guys realizes how well it fits and they rag on her about it. 
> 
> All of the threats are only momentary mentions because the fathead coworkers are being...big jerks.
> 
> #SorryNotSorry for using the "Daddy" line from the song in the summary. Dexter never calls anyone in the song 'lover' or anything reasonable like that except for a couple 'babes' and 'the blonde'. He is referring to 'sugar daddy' though, which was a big slang term in the '40's so...*shrugs*.

The office is filled with laughter when she enters, the laughter emanating from the conference room and a song playing from...not the radio, but a turntable someone's brought in. 

No one notices her, as most of her colleagues are around the table drinking their morning coffee and roaring with laughter; Daniel - of course - is the only one who does, as he's _actually_ in his desk, doing _actual_ work, but he hears her as she passes, and moves his chair back to talk to her, glancing over to the conference room to judge whether he's got the time to smack a kiss on her cheek (they'd decided that even if someone saw, a kiss like that could look friendly enough, couldn't it?)

"What the bloody hell is going on here?"

Daniel chuckles, that enchantedly amused expression creasing his face. 

"I'm not entirely sure, but I won't rule out the possibility of drunkenness," is his first answer. "Someone got very excited about a song they heard last night, so-"

"So they brought in a turntable and a record to share?"

Daniel shrugs. "Apparently."

Peggy rolls her eyes, and slings her coat over the back of her chair. She smooths down her skirt, and has just begun to sit down when - 

"Hey Carter! Sousa! You gotta come 'ear this!" Ramirez shouts. The pair meets eyes without even thinking about it, but go to join the others. 

"So Carter," Thompson begins, "you knew a lot of-"

She throws her hands up and turns away from the door.

"I am _not_ even having this conversation," she declares, and though there's a pause in the noise level, she can hear Daniel's sigh. Whether fortunately or unfortunately, she's unsure, but he has learned not to answer for her when she's present, so he says nothing (she can see in his eyes that there are a few choice words he'll be relating later when they sit back after their next dinner to share their pleasures and vexations, which is reassuring).

"No, that's not -" Wilkes argues, grabbing her by the arm to keep her from leaving; she punches him with her other fist. The tone changes: Daniel chuckles, but there's a collective sigh.

"Shut up, Sousa."

"Didn't say anything."

"Al Dexter wrote a song 'bout you, Carter," Ramirez interrupts, realizing that this conversation's obviously getting nowhere. 

Not that it _had_ anywhere to go in the first place - not from where Peggy's standing.

"Pray tell," she groans, and Thompson leans over to the gramophone.

She winces when the trio starts singing along with the 78.

_"Drinkin' beer in a cabaret, and I was havin' fun, until one night she caught me right, and now I'm on the run! Lay that pistol down, babe, lay that pistol down; pistol packin' mama, lay that pistol down..."_

Nowhere _near_ soon enough, the song ends, leaving the 78 relaying nothing but static, and Thompson stops it. They'd gotten too engaged to pay attention to her reactions through their...serenade, so she makes this particular eyeroll as forceful as possible.

"Oh, come on, Carter! That fits so well! With the shooting, and the...well, mostly the shooting, but then again, that's basically what the song is about."

Peggy scoffs; "there's not a man that's earned such company with me that would be the sort to warrant my shooting him."

"Yeah, Captain America _is_ a pretty high bar," Daniel adds, obviously mocking them in consideration of their treatment of him, of which she'd recently become aware, and Peggy laughs at, really, the surrealness of the situation. She presses her eyes shut for a moment.

"Speaking of Captain Rogers, is there anyone else here, aside from Agent Sousa and myself, who actually reported here this morning with the intention of working?"

"That _is_ what people do at work, Carter," Ramirez replies, as though they were doing work at the present moment and she were foolish for asking - not that none of them truly thought differently.

"Is it _really?_ Because I for one fail to imagine how this could help any of you better attend to your duties to the SSR, in lieu of reminding you that I am _indeed_ willing and capable of injuring you?"

"You know, Carter, sometimes I wish you _actually_ worked for the telephone company. You'd still be pretty, but you'd be a lot more fun like that."

"Would I? I could forward calls to groups of laid-off lady riveters and let them hunt down criminals, and slowly poison all of you every time I made coffee; and since I'd be _required_ to be courteous and elegant the entire time, not one of you would have the slightest clue," she sneers.

"Well, perhaps _one_ of you," she glances back at Daniel. "Daresay Agent Sousa might even _thank_ me for my trouble once in a while."

She gives them a crudely feigned grin, and heads back to her desk to start on her paperwork.

+

Thompson, Ramirez, and Wilkes avoid her for the rest of the day, but she leaves for the restroom - the actual ladies' room, so that she can take it as an excuse to pull Rose in with her and complain - around two, and returns to find a cup of coffee on her desk, a ripped piece of paper beneath it.

 _Entirely free of poison, I swear..._  
_Same time tonight as last?_


End file.
